


I Had a Bad Dream Again

by anidalah



Series: Kim's Life is Strange Drabble Compilation [13]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Manipulation, Mentioned Childhood Sexual Abuse, drabble challenge, nathan's 16 in this, pre-dark room, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:50:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11304186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anidalah/pseuds/anidalah
Summary: Nathan didn’t know that he was being used, that he was just a pawn.  All he knew was that no one had ever taken an interest like that in him before and he didn’t want it to stop.





	I Had a Bad Dream Again

Nathan woke up tangled in the blankets, which didn’t help his panic in the least.  His heart was pounding, sweat dripping from his brow, and it just got worse as he struggled to get free from the sheets.  He tried to calm down, tried not to be too loud, but couldn’t help it when he eventually let out a terrified scream.  It was sheets and blankets wrapped around his arms, his begs, his body but that’s not what it felt like.  All he could feel were hands, hands that shouldn’t be there, hands that should never have touched him in such a way but had done so repeatedly.

He continued to struggle, which in all honesty was just further trapping him, and he let out a strangled sob.  In his mind, he was at the Prescott Estate.  In his father’s office.  Or in the library.  Or in his bedroom in the middle of the night.  So many places.  Too many times.  He had to get out, get free.  He was too hot and his breathing was erratic and as he cried he was letting out the most embarrassing sounds.  He needed to get free and hide somewhere safe.

In his struggle, Nathan eventually fell off the bed and landed with a sobering thud.  He could’ve laughed when he realized that it had been blankets wrapped around him the whole time.  Even though he calmed a bit because he realized that he was safe he still cried because he remembered why he’d woken up.  The dream had felt so real, probably because the exact scenario or ones like it had played out several times in his waking life.

Once he was untangled from the sheets, Nathan found himself leaving the bedroom and going down the hall.  He paused once he got to the door he wanted to go into, unsure of whether or not he should go inside.  Mark swore he’d be there for him; Mark explicitly told him to wake him up if he was needed.  It was only a few nights before that something similar had happened, except Nathan hadn’t fully woken up and just kept screaming until eventually Mark shook him out of his slumber.

Tentatively, Nathan knocked on the door.  He didn’t want to be a burden.  He didn’t want to fuck things up by being too needy.  But that was exactly the problem – Nathan needed someone who could actually handle his problems.  Some of his friends tried, they really did, but they didn’t know some of Nathan’s biggest problems.  They didn’t know the full reason why Nathan despised his father.  He hadn’t wanted anyone to find out.

It wasn’t clear how Mark had figured out Nathan’s secret.  Mark said he saw the signs.  Mark said they were obvious, at least to adults; it made Nathan wonder why no one else had ever tried to help him.

Ever since Mark had cared enough to question Nathan and found out his biggest secret, Nathan had glommed onto Jefferson.  Mark was always so sweet, quick to offer kind words and encouragement.  It was very different from what Nathan was used to and he loved it. 

Recently, when things periodically were really bad or Nathan just couldn’t stand a night in the dorm -or worse, at the Estate- Mark would offer for Nathan to stay in the guest bedroom.  Since Nathan had been forced to spend the previous weekend at the Prescott Estate, where it happened yet again, he found himself returning to Mark’s front door night after night.  He needed to be near Mark, where he felt safe.  What Nathan really needed in that moment was for Mark to hold him when he cried, like he had nights before, but he didn’t really want to be a bother.

Still, even though Nathan had knocked gently, Mark still opened the door.  He’d woken up when Nathan fell out of bed and waited, certain that Nathan would come to him.  After all, Nathan needed him and that’s how Mark liked it.

Nathan looked up at Mark with wide tear-filled eyes as he said, “I had a bad dream again.”  He sounded far too delicate, far too much like a child for his taste.  As Mark wrapped his arms around him, he no longer cared.

At some point, Nathan was lead to Mark’s bed, where he continued to be held as he sobbed. He didn’t need to talk, to elaborate, because Mark already knew what the dream was about.  It was already out in the open why Nathan had such night terrors.  Sean swore it was just a side effect of Nathan’s mental issues, but Mark knew that Sean was largely the reason for both of those things.  That was why, in Mark’s arms, that Nathan felt secure enough to fall asleep, only waking a few times during the remainder of the night.

Mark woke to his alarm going off early in the morning.  He had an introductory photography class early that morning but deeply considered canceling it.  Nathan was in a fragile state and the morning might be best spent together.  Mark had a game to play, a goal in mind, and taking that time to be with Nathan would surely advance things.

When Nathan finally got out of bed and strolled into the kitchen, he was surprised to find Mark still home.  It was a little before eight, which he knew was only a few minutes before Mark’s first class.  Guilt wracked through his body when Mark told that he’d canceled class.  For him.  Mark Jefferson, famous photographer, was canceling a photography class _for him_.  Nathan didn’t feel deserving of such special treatment; no one had ever really taken important time out of their schedule for him before.

Nathan hated himself when he started to cry.

He hated everything he was feeling.  The guilt and the shame.  The confusion.  He also hated the good feelings, the gratefulness, the warmth that he felt for Mark.  He didn’t really know how to show Mark how much the gesture meant to him, not when Mark had already been refusing his monetary gifts.  It was one of the few ways that Nathan properly knew how to show affection.

Well, actually it was one of two ways but Nathan deemed it highly unlikely that Mark would like to be repaid with sexual favors.

As the morning progressed, with Mark making him breakfast, with Mark teaching him about photography, with Mark giving him praise for his own work, Nathan continued to feel that overwhelming sense of guilt.  As Mark fawned over him, telling him that he had a gift, that he had a way with shadows, that with some direction he’d surely be a professional in a few years’ time, the pit in Nathan’s stomach got heavier.  It weighed on his mind throughout the day, still plaguing his thoughts  when he returned to Mark’s home that night.

It was that night that Mark first officially asked Nathan to be his protégé.  He wanted to properly show Nathan his methods with models, teach the techniques that got him those rewards and all that recognition in the 90s.  Of course, Nathan had no idea what it was a prelude to, that it would lead to drugged girls, unconscious models, or the deaths of one of his best friends.  He didn’t know that he was being used, that he was just a pawn.  All he knew was that no one had ever taken an interest like that in him before and he didn’t want it to stop.

“Why are you doing this?  No one’s ever really given a shit about me before.”  There was no edge to Nathan’s voice as he asked Mark from the other side of the loveseat.  It was just genuine, childlike curiosity.  He looked so sweet, so damn innocent, as he said that and Mark scooted just a little closer to him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“Someone should have,” Mark said with a warm smile as he gently squeezed.  “You have so much potential, Nathan.”  He noticed Nathan leaning into his touch, so again he moved a little closer.  “Maybe you just needed a real artist to see it.”  As Nathan’s cheeks darkened, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks, Mark knew he’d said exactly the right thing.  Nathan was just too easy and so perfect for his project.

Nathan looked away though he mirrored Mark and moved ever closer.  His heart was pounding, ears reddening, and a warmth that was starting to become familiar spread through his body.  He was just so happy, so thankful, and he _needed_ to show his appreciation.  It was then that, finally, he tried his other method of showing gratitude.  One of his hands rested momentarily on Mark’s knee before coming up to undo the pants.  Moments later, Nathan was on the floor between Mark’s knees.

“Nathan!” Mark feigned surprise so well but he’d seen the signs and had known for some time that something like that was going to happen.  “You…  you don’t have to do that.”

Nathan looked up at Mark through thick lashes, looking innocent yet dirty as he took Mark’s cock in his hand and said, “But I want to.”

Mark contained his victorious smirk as his cock disappeared into Nathan’s mouth, knowing full well he had picked the perfect boy to help him carry out his plans.


End file.
